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Monster Hunter

Soapbox: I wasn’t going to play Monster Hunter Rise, but the game art is too cute

Do you know those friends that you communicate with completely through gifs and TikTok links? Well last week my best friend sent me this:

Spirits have different effects depending on their colors.

Green increases your total health, yellow for the stamina bar, red increases attack, and orange increases defense.

There are also special rainbow spirits! pic.twitter.com/COtlrCptMn

– Monster Hunter (@monsterhunter) December 12, 2020

I’ve only played one Monster Hunter game, and that was Monster Hunter 4 Ultimate on 3DS. I liked it, for the most part, I played with some friends who were much more experienced than me, and they helped me take down some of the trickier monsters. I also had sweet Poogie with me to keep things going in her LITTLE BEE COSTUME. Honestly, how come there isn’t a game in Poogie? I only kill monsters to keep my boy in new outfits.

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Then again, there were outfits for me too – the amazing outfits I would make from the different monster pieces I cut for my prey. Even though the *** is closed, sometimes my friends would get the cool armor and I would get a terrible bikini, or sometimes I would get something cool, and they would get, like, a teddy bear costume, the outfits were my second favorite part of the game, after Poogie, obviously.

You can pet the dog in Monster Hunter Rise pic.twitter.com/9jQbRbsd0l– Can you pet the dog? (@CanYouPetTheDog) January 8, 2021

And then I took on Gore Magala, a purple wyvern who I hope is in **** right now. I faced Gore Magala about five times before giving up and selling the game. Sorry, Poogie. I failed you.

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So I wasn’t too interested in Monster Hunter Rise as I regularly skipped the latest MH games. I prefer my wrists and fingers intact, thank you, and Monster Hunter isn’t exactly known for players to choose the easy way out.

Hunters can attack with their Palamute while straddling it, unleashing a maximum of 3 attacks. pic.twitter.com/GK0cW75Sbu– Monster Hunter (@monsterhunter) January 9, 2021

But Capcom keeps releasing these cute little works of art that remind me why to do like Monster Hunter games. There is a lot of humor, sweetness and light between all the dragon kills and the smashed eggs. And yes, my dolls won’t thank me, especially if I go back to choosing such a delicate weapon as the Insect Glaive, but I’m just going to take breaks to walk around town with Poogie.

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Wait, Poogie is absolutely into this, right?

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